In an effort to cheer you up Jess, and in an effort to continue the legacy of my guide to college, I will now recount to you the lessons of the year-and-a-half gap between my graduation and my getting a decent job. Hope this cheers you up.
Relationships:
-Relationships are awesome
-Girls really like a man who can please their insatiable hunger for...love.
-That's superceded by a girl's love for a man who is in the possession of (or has the apparent likelihood of possessing) enough money to swim in.
Military Service:
-There are lots of lessons I learned from my brief and amusing tenure in the US Army. The main lesson is that reclassed soldiers will pay you $20 to do their laundry.
-Oh, also, an E-Tool is not a web application.
Car Sales:
Car salesmen are the sleaziest people on earth. The only person sleazier than a car salesman is a car salesman seminar instructor. Note that during the course of 3 days I learned all the tricks on how never to get suckered into purchasing a vehicle. Bring me with you should you ever want to buy a car.
Fast Food:
Fast food is only as awesome as the people you work with and the things you can get away with...much like any job. Mainly though, if you're ever going to work fast food, work somewhere where the food is awesome, or at least not totally disgusting. Be sure to score your friends with free hookups, unless doing so would cost you your job, and you are in dire need of continuing to be humiliated in a greasy uniform for $6.00 an hour for the rest of your days.
Office Supplies:
The only thing more enthralling than working for an office supply store is to work in an office. Actually, doing both is the jackpot of true experience and enlightenment, you can surmise an understanding of uses for all things, including extrapolating on original designs and purposes far beyond the comprehension of simpletons. Having both experiences is like the Yin and Yang of the business world at your fingertips. You are the commander of the starship, and you will travel to new dimensions.
Rent:
Rent is awesome, generally the cheaper it is, the better, unless you don't like getting woken up at 3 AM by squirrels in your ventilation, or getting broken into, or having your mailbox knocked down, or having none of your appliances work, or having nasty bugs run laps in your sink.
Car Accidents:
Car accidents are not awesome. Generally, they suck even more when you have no solid income and you are borrowing the car aformentioned. I feel the same about towings/tickets/anything that involves the 4-wheeled antithetic demon of my well-being.
Water:
Hydration is the single-most important factor to your health. If you take no other knowledge from this passage, take that with you. 8 cups a day is minimum if you are sitting behind a cubicle all day. You will drink much more if you do anything exciting for a living, like excavating velociraptor bones or piloting one of Gyro Gearloose's crazy mechanical contraptions.
Maps:
Making maps is one of the most ridiculously ridiculous jobs ever. If you can ever get away with making maps for a living, do so. It's like Picture Pages on a computer. All you have to do is use a mouse, fire off a few clicks, and BAM! Awesome looking map, and everyone loves you.
Hmm, as for more general advice...really, the point of the next year is just to survive. And truthfully, I've made the same point about UNCG and even brought it up with one of the professors I still keep regular contact with-our school, and specifically, our departments, do not put enough emphasis on internship opportunities (a valuable shoe-in for future career opportunities) or job placement in general. Really it's an effort that should be made on the departmental level, professors and students need to do a better job of working with eachother 1 on 1, because a lot of it begins there. I still rely on my professors for recommendations, as well as keeping an eye out for conferences and events, academic and professional alike, that may interest me. Ultimately it's about things that will benefit you, in turn, benefitting society by making you a viable part of it.
Well, that's my piece.
Relationships:
-Relationships are awesome
-Girls really like a man who can please their insatiable hunger for...love.
-That's superceded by a girl's love for a man who is in the possession of (or has the apparent likelihood of possessing) enough money to swim in.
Military Service:
-There are lots of lessons I learned from my brief and amusing tenure in the US Army. The main lesson is that reclassed soldiers will pay you $20 to do their laundry.
-Oh, also, an E-Tool is not a web application.
Car Sales:
Car salesmen are the sleaziest people on earth. The only person sleazier than a car salesman is a car salesman seminar instructor. Note that during the course of 3 days I learned all the tricks on how never to get suckered into purchasing a vehicle. Bring me with you should you ever want to buy a car.
Fast Food:
Fast food is only as awesome as the people you work with and the things you can get away with...much like any job. Mainly though, if you're ever going to work fast food, work somewhere where the food is awesome, or at least not totally disgusting. Be sure to score your friends with free hookups, unless doing so would cost you your job, and you are in dire need of continuing to be humiliated in a greasy uniform for $6.00 an hour for the rest of your days.
Office Supplies:
The only thing more enthralling than working for an office supply store is to work in an office. Actually, doing both is the jackpot of true experience and enlightenment, you can surmise an understanding of uses for all things, including extrapolating on original designs and purposes far beyond the comprehension of simpletons. Having both experiences is like the Yin and Yang of the business world at your fingertips. You are the commander of the starship, and you will travel to new dimensions.
Rent:
Rent is awesome, generally the cheaper it is, the better, unless you don't like getting woken up at 3 AM by squirrels in your ventilation, or getting broken into, or having your mailbox knocked down, or having none of your appliances work, or having nasty bugs run laps in your sink.
Car Accidents:
Car accidents are not awesome. Generally, they suck even more when you have no solid income and you are borrowing the car aformentioned. I feel the same about towings/tickets/anything that involves the 4-wheeled antithetic demon of my well-being.
Water:
Hydration is the single-most important factor to your health. If you take no other knowledge from this passage, take that with you. 8 cups a day is minimum if you are sitting behind a cubicle all day. You will drink much more if you do anything exciting for a living, like excavating velociraptor bones or piloting one of Gyro Gearloose's crazy mechanical contraptions.
Maps:
Making maps is one of the most ridiculously ridiculous jobs ever. If you can ever get away with making maps for a living, do so. It's like Picture Pages on a computer. All you have to do is use a mouse, fire off a few clicks, and BAM! Awesome looking map, and everyone loves you.
Hmm, as for more general advice...really, the point of the next year is just to survive. And truthfully, I've made the same point about UNCG and even brought it up with one of the professors I still keep regular contact with-our school, and specifically, our departments, do not put enough emphasis on internship opportunities (a valuable shoe-in for future career opportunities) or job placement in general. Really it's an effort that should be made on the departmental level, professors and students need to do a better job of working with eachother 1 on 1, because a lot of it begins there. I still rely on my professors for recommendations, as well as keeping an eye out for conferences and events, academic and professional alike, that may interest me. Ultimately it's about things that will benefit you, in turn, benefitting society by making you a viable part of it.
Well, that's my piece.

0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home